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Bois Locker Room, the latest busted Instagram group, has reminded all of us about the epidemic of violence against women. What scares us more is their tender age. Young teens around 14-17 years of age, from some of the top schools in the National Capital Region, reportedly posted photographs of fellow students blatantly exposing their interest to violate them. They shared offensive sexual comments, and defended their comments with gangrape threat on Snapchat and other social media platforms. Isn’t it shocking to see boys, most of whom are not even legally adults, behaving in this monstrous way? The execution of men responsible for the 2012 Nirbhaya gangrape seems to have not deterred them. Yes, it is sad to discover, but that is the truth. The problem is not on Instagram or some ill-lit street, it is in our homes, where we are nurturing our daughters and sons, differently. Bois Locker Room Instagram Chat Group of Delhi Teenage Boys Glorifying Gang Rape Busted by Twitterati; Delhi Police Action Sought.
Discussing and giggling about the body parts of school and college friends is the starting-point of the spectrum of behaviours that run through misogynist social media commentary to street sexual harassment and on to rape. It can only be stopped when we focus on the harmful gender norms that disadvantage both girls and boys. While growing up, girls are taught to be aware of the monsters living in the world outside, some of who might also be at home, but no one really warns us about them. This is how as women, we grow up guarding our breasts with our bags, avoiding eye contact, ignoring the eve-teasers and staying extra cautious in dark alleys, clubs, workplaces, our own homes and on social media. But what about the boys? Bois Locker Room Instagram Chat Leaks & Worrying ‘Gang Rape Comments’ by Delhi Teenage Boys Is a Grim Reminder of Mumbai IB School Students Talking About ‘Raping’ Classmate.
Parenting is not an easy job, but we need to erase the gender stereotypes at home, the moment a child is born. The incident of Bois Locker Room is another reminder to all of us that we need to be more sensitive and improve our parenting. Below are a few points that we must start educating our kids about, since a majority of us are definitely not doing it right. Bois Locker Room Whistleblower Says Most Girls Whose Pictures Were Shared Were Minors, Shares More Murky Details About The Instagram Chat Group.
Good Touch Bad Touch: It is imperative that parents talk to their children about the differences between right and wrong. Explain what constitutes ‘good touch’ and what ‘bad touch’. Tell your child that touches are okay or acceptable, but if it is scaring or making him or her uncomfortable, they must say ‘No.’ Ask them to inform you, in case they experience something that is confusing. Reassure your children that you will listen to him or her, and keep her or him protected.
Gender Equality Among Siblings: Girls are given everything pink, Barbie dolls are for the girl child, and the boy gets cars and superhero toys. Girls are told what they are supposed to be: caregivers, domesticated and emotional, whereas boys are supposed to be tough. ‘They don’t cry.’ If you are following any of the above things, you must stop it now. Crying, being emotional or domesticated, is not weakness. A girl can fall and cry and so can the boy. Both of them can play with Barbie dolls and cars. Teach them that as siblings, they are equally responsible for the household chores and being independent in the future.
No Means No: Repeat after them! Consent may seem to be a challenging topic, but it is actually not. If a woman says no, it means no. If a man says no, it means no!
Never Share Phone Numbers of Friends Without Their Knowledge: Your son or daughter may like someone in school and probably find a way to talk to him/ her. Or even want to help his/her friend to get to his/her crush. But that never gives them the right to share phone numbers of friends without their knowledge.
Never Share Pictures of Women and Men: First of all, sending pictures of minors is a crime. Your child will face severe consequences for the act. Make him or her understand what can happen if they share photos of minors. Second of all, sharing pictures of anyone without their knowledge is a no-no! Extend the courtesy by asking before you put pictures of them online.
Sharing Sexist Jokes Is Not Cool: Shunning sexism also begins at home. Never pass sexist comments against your husband or wife, especially in front of your children. They grow up feeling that it is normal and cool. But it is not! Teach them the concept of sexism and why it is uncool when you laugh at a sexist comment or even end up sharing sexist jokes.
As the child grows up, they become more curious about their own body and the opposite gender or even the same. It is normal, and curiosity is not bad but how you, as a parent, handle it, depends. We must change our way of nurturing both girls and boys. Equality can emerge only from a culture that genuinely values rights. And the conversations on which it will be built must start in our living rooms. We may prevent crimes from happening in the future.
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